I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
