yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
