Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
