We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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