He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
