You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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