you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
