Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
