Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
