it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
