i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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