And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
