i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
