I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
