hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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