Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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