Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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