Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
