my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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