he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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