She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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