i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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