last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
