We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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