I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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