she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
