I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
No subtext here. People are naked.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
