I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
