moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
