quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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