theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
