Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
