its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
