i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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