Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
