I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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