You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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