People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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