I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
