I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
