i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
