You just made me feel so damn special
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
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