If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize