Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
