Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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