Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
