OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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