you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize