If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We need to rekindle our bromance
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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