i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
