Just fell off a train. Bad.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Randomize