with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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