people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
