at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
