I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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