OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize