Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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