Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize