Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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