I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I think I just sharted jello shots
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
